.: Oxymoronic :.

Every day is just like a breeze. Sit down. Stand up. Direct. Control.
Throw a little hissy fit. Praise. Reward. Be flattered. Count admirers.
Sit down again and do a smug smile. No struggle. I am a total
powerhouse of confidence. Walking without worry.

I count my blessings each passing day. Due gratitude is given to things
I acquire and experience. Sometimes, mood swings and frustration get in
the way but just a like a sudden spark, it’s relatively temporary. All
I become out of them is a reinforced fortress. All better. Much
improved.

Everything changes in solitude.

All I am is a mere turtle. Treading so sluggishly and delicately. Only
protected by a carapace of pretend. A hollow, heavy mass with no other
purpose but to encase a feeble, vulnerable spirit of false longing and
pride. With a dire intention of eliminating self-guilt and
desolateness, the turtle that I am chose to carry the external burden
rather than impetuously sprint to the ocean of surrender.

I, the turtle, definitely is crawling, but it’s crawling nonetheless.
Yet, the sea will consume me and I can glide lightly and freely.

Still, I’d rather have the shell crushed and expose how yearning I am after all this time…

I woke up at 4:43AM today to feeling my phone vibrate. It was Kat. I
wonder why she was calling. I wasn’t able to pick it up ‘cos it stopped
ringing. In about 6 minutes my phone sounded an alarm. It’s time to
wake up. Hell! It’s my rest day, why am I waking up so damn early? Oh
yeah, right. Jogging.

The first attack on the battle for wellness and getting pretty has been
made. This is the first time I’ll ever be jogging alone. Eversince Kat
and I found some incredibly skewed numbers pertaining to my fatness,
and through her first draw in the jogging frenzy, I was more than
determined to lose some pounds and inches. I wasn’t really sure how to
go to the park for I’m so accustomed to bringing a pack with me. Well,
I just snapped and clipped everything to my gym shorts. I couldn’t leave without
my iPod of course, though it’s a little bit on the heavy side; but I
was reminded of what Migz told me that I need to have music flowing
through my ear canals when I run.

I probably ran about…oh I don’t know I’m atrocious with units of
distance!! Let’s just say, from the Manila Hotel to the Coconut Palace
(TAR5, anyone?) and back. You have to consider it’s my first time so
there were walking here and there, but I’m proud of myself for having
done the distance so. By the way, I could’ve  made a few more dashes but then it started to drizzle. Oh, well, I don’t wanna push myself that far anyhow.

Running within that area didn’t bore me; I would’ve quit in the
first 3 rounds if I were around the UST Grandstand. It’s a good enough
challenge, at least. I wasn’t bored, and was not absent-minded either. Some
people jog all of a sudden when things bother them. I am not sad today.
The force that drives me to step into my running shoes is not purely
emotional, it’s practical…or out of desperation…haha!

Kat has upped the ante by enrolling to a gym. There’s no more turning
back!!! The fight to stay healthy and attractive has gone intense. It’s
long overdue anyway.

…and as we always say: Here’s to getting pretty(ier)! ^_^

My legs hurt…