.: Oxymoronic :.

Guess there’s no other way of aptly naming my entry.

My summer travels went a little early again this year. Once again, same
reasons - hot weather, crowded transportations and basically for it’s
just a disturbance. Especially in beaches. All of that changed when I
went to Pagudpud.

I can never begin exclaiming my delight in having to visit the place.
Sure, it was a grueling 12-hour bus trip from Manila to Ilocos Norte but
man!, it sure was worth it. There were so many sights for sore eyes and
too little time to enjoy them all. Nonetheless, a quick tour of the
town was all I need to discard my initial thoughts about seasonal
vacations. My excitement couldn’t be contained even before I set foot on
the bus from Manila. Research from the internet held a lot of promise
that didn’t fail to deliver.

It was the perfect time to be there. The place was not crowded and it’s
just pre-peak season. As a matter of fact, we were the only ones in the
resort when we arrived, and it was a weekend! As soon as I saw just a
glimpse of the beach I was stunned. It’s not like any other beach with
too much goings-on the shore. It’s simply beach. Beautiful. The clear
and cool waters didn’t disappoint. There were parts of the shoreline that aren’t
concrete yet. It definitely looks like the Morgan Beach from
Survivor: Pearl Islands. Relief was the
only thing I felt while walking on the stretch of the beach and watching the sun getting devoured by
the sea from afar. At that point, I knew I made the right choice of
going here, eventhough I was already scorched from staying there for
too long!

Most of the exploration were done on the next day. Aboard a meager
tricycle we toured the remainder of the town’s wonders. First stop:
Kaibigan Falls. The trek was about 30 minutes and the path going to the
source of the water gets better as we move along - running water
hitting the rocks. Upon arriving to the falls, I was just overwhelmed.
I’ve always wanted to see a
falls so by just witnessing something as
magnificent as this really blew me away. It was so peaceful. No
mechanical, unnatural noises. No people. Just plain splashes and flows.
I thanked God for this wonderful creation and also threw all unwanted
emotional baggages and left them all to drift away. This is the single
most defining experience of this trip.

There is a string of beaches that surround the whole town. Yes, they’re
not as beautiful as the ones in Boracay but it’s virgin beauty of their
own. It feels kind of that in the TV show Lost. We even went as far as
the North Wind Bangui Bay Project. It’s a 15-tower wind that supplies
30% of Ilocos Norte’s electricity. A nice man-made structure as well.

Nothing beats this vacation in Pagudpud (so far). I definitely need to
top this and get somewhere better. Tell me if you’re going there,
I’d join you!

More photos and videos here.

Side Anecdote: You might wonder who was with me that time. Let’s just
say I want to keep the positive parallelism of this entry and keep
those wasted years away. Okay! It was a long-time, big-time crush that
didn’t turn out any fine for me after all. Especially after that weekend. Too bad.

   

My blog wouldn’t be complete without the usual ramblings about work…and boredom.

I am happy that this would be the last week that I’ll be having the
dreaded 4AM schedule. Top that with rest days so boring, I could only
do smack. Just like today.

Started the day still with the whole keep-off-carbo-loaded-and-starchy
foods mentality. Just had (instant, ugh) coffee and a piece of hopia
for breakfast. Stayed in the room practically until lunch time to
resist any more temptation from our pantry. Ate about half a cup of
rice and roast beef for lunch and 2 scoops of ice cream (I told you
dessert is my weakness!).

I downloaded the latest episode of American Idol as soon as it was
available through Auntie Torrent. I do this because my cable provider
doesn’t have Star World so I can just catch it from the boob tube, and
I’m supposed to be asleep already when it shows on the local channel.
Now it’s just a matter of staring at the monitor until it finishes
(well about 2 hours). In the meantime, I went out to have my weekly
head shaving sessions, still fighting the urge to eat.

Finally my download was over. No more dead time for me. My parents
would probably know by now that I should be alone for my eyes are
literally glued to the screen.

Okay, so it’s No Doubt, plus Donna Summer, plus Cyndi Lauper, plus The
Police, pop night on American Idol. I wasn’t really looking forward to
the theme because it was so vague but then I liked how Gwen Stefani
bashed some of the contestants, haha. As always, Melinda Doolittle
delivered but I think that performance should just be saved for Disco
Night. Hers and Lakisha’s performances were in another spectrum.
Anyway, she’s forgiven, with a voice as infallible as that, we can’t ask
more.

I never heard any male sing No Doubt’s "Don’t Speak". But if it were
any male who’d sing it, it would be Chris Richardson. He doesn’t really
have that big of a voice and it’s like a well decorated cake that’s
just flat. Pop/RnB is definitely his genre. He did this song with quite
good justice and added his own mix into it. Favorite male performance
of the night. Justin TimberFake still. Love the jacket, though!

I like Haley and her legs but Sanjaya (or his ‘do) is the show’s biggest mockery. Nothing more can be said about him except: Girl Power! Hahaha.

Now I should find a way to doze off…for sure I’ll be a zombie tomorrow.

Ciao!

Eversince the holidays, my appetite
has been very relentless. I was back to eating whatever fancies my
whim. Top it up with almost zero physical activity, wholesome or
otherwise, hehe.

10 lbs later, my body started to show some manifestations.

Most of the people who view my profile now tell me how much I’ve gotten
fat. Before, they used to say, I’m ok, I just got a big tummy. Now it’s
like I’m all tummy and moobies (manboobs)! Well I better slim down. Fast.

It’s hard when all you have around you are people eating. In the office
most of my agents bring lots of food. Or sometimes, we often end up
eating outside anyways. I have completely abandoned the ‘no-rice diet’
altogether since Christmas. I tried a gym out one time. I actually
enjoyed it, but somehow I didn’t have the resources to fully commit
myself to entering into one. And yes, my badminton sessions have been
reduced to none due to schedule conflicts.

All my clothes cannot conceal my expansion anymore. I really had to do
something about this. I can’t gain any more weight, I don’t wanna be
skinny either. Just ok. Well, I really have no other choice.

It’s time to begin the ‘(little to) no-rice’ diet again!
can we still have dessert?

It’s time to hit the badminton court at least 2 times a week (Mayu, Drew, Rico, whoever, please).

It’s time to do push-ups (at 2AM, good luck)!

It’s time to declare war against weight gain.

Who’s with me? I don’t wanna go first, haha!

It’s nice to be back.

Whoa! It’s been more than a hundred days since I last bared my soul
into this outlet. For starters, I think it has been THAT long. To say
the least, so many events, entities and emotions surrounded me in that
one-hundred-or-so days and nights. Of course, I’m not that boring!

I have been wanting to spill news about myself as of late but so much
has to get in the way of it. I will be starting to turn on my train of
thought and see where will I move along.

Since my last entry I have tried to make amends and find myself somehow
through people and foolish things that only taught me nothing more than
to be more mature and practical. Sometimes it had to come in that form.
I may still hurt from the last person who broke my heart but my
condition is getting better, I suppose. There are days when the
atmosphere is just so sullen and empty. I guess there is just some sort
of imbalance - people would wait in line just to fill the void created
by my last relationship (modesty aside) - yet I still yearn for the day
when all is left behind and we’re finally back together in complete
rapture. *SMACK!* Wake up, Pao! That’s a longshot, wait, more of an
impossibility. Yeah, it’s funny when I think of it: a string of
admirers versus a definite prick, I’m still choosing the prick.

Again, time has taught me well enough to know that crying over spilled
milk is useless, much more a waste of time. Yes, I did think of getting
back and concocting a devious plan to sabotage my ex but I realized
that it was not worth it. It came across my mind that exerting more
effort would mean I still care. I remembered: the opposite of love is
not hate, it’s indifference. Will I hate? No. Should I be indifferent?
Soon. For now, I’d like to repress.

On the other side of the coin, there are also those whom, for some
other unavoidable reason, I had to unintentionally hurt. Nevertheless,
I refuse to own these unfortunate circumstances. From what I can
recall, I had to bring myself into a point wherein I can willingly
accept and embrace what’s in front of me. I was very open to that. I
was transitioning. I was bridging the gap, but along the way, it just
collapsed. Maybe things aren’t just really in front of me - they were
shoved into my face. I was transitioning; though it looked like I was
being forcefully morphed. At one point I felt that I was being invaded.
I really did. Well, regardless of the situation I am in, I know that I
am a free spirit - caging me would mean losing me.

Should I be bothered by all these? I admit, I’m not evil. Sometimes I
think about these events and said to myself, "I should’ve given it
another shot." But it had its way of unraveling itself prematurely - it
just wouldn’t work, even if I try to. I guess it’s a blessing that it
happened this early. I may have hurt myself and someone else more if
set-ups were prolonged. It is just a circle. I am aware of that. Soon
enough, a complete revolution will occur.

What have I learned in the past 100 days? Primarily, it is to watch my
words. It never presented itself to me until now how words can be so
strong and how people will try to hold on to them, even to your
slightest murmurs. So, as part of the unending struggle to mature and
wisen up, I lean towards just keeping my mouth shut if I don’t mean a
thing.

Moreover, in this life, we cannot always have everything. Practicality
is always an issue. What you can gain against what will you give up.
It’s not just about the idea of falling into someone, but also making
sure that you still have yourself when you submit. I have learned that
emotions can never really be quantified, nor it can be used to justify
actions, approved or frowned at. The moves of any person who devours
the bond and becomes overly anxious to an irrational point can’t be
considered solid, nor fully admirable. It’s not what we look for. It’s
not selflessly consuming, it’s just self-aware.