.: Oxymoronic :.

An ordinary dog can bring the best out of anyone’s day but nothing can be more pleasing than to be in a Rottweiler’s company.

Medium-large and muscular, the Rottweiler can be a good exercise
partner. Though at first, they seem to be timid, they are generally
sociable dogs. Despite their robust physique they are very meek towards
their family and other animals. Very unusual but nice for dogs of their
stature and appearance.

At the beginning stages of your relationship with a Rotty, they will
tend to be aloof and do not submit themselves to immediate friendships.
That is actually a plus because they don’t normally connect with people
in a snap. If anything, they are mostly observant. Training is often a
challenge when rearing Rottweilers. One could either turn into a gentle
giant or a reckless havoc so full attention and careful handling are
important. The benefits of having a good initial bond with a Rottweiler
can be continuous and fruitful.

A Rotty with a well-nourished relationship with their companions are inherently
protective. They have the strongest loyalties to their friends than any
other breed, and this is usually exhibited by the intent reaction to
fight back when one of their family members is threatened. Similarly,
they have an intense yearning to please their owners and will
frequently seek for their attention, sometimes creatively. Obviously,
they are the jealous types.

Conversely, they are typically calm. Rotties are highly intelligent and
will not react on a sudden stimulus. It’s fascinating that albeit their
size, they are not barkers. These dogs know how observe and notice
things as they happen and will often assess before they act. They
usually make sounds as an expression of annoyance, so it’s difficult to
know when one is already angry. Other than that, they are very
tolerant; perhaps the affection towards their partners/handlers is
still stronger.

I have always loved Rottweilers and in fact had at one time owned one
(Julia), but never did I realize that I am a Rottweiler myself. The
character I’ve learned of this breed is mostly reflective of my own,
especially when it comes to handling my own relationships.

Rotties may not be as popular as the Golden Retriever nor as cute and
attractive as a Poodle but they definitely have the most FIDELITY.

So love a Rottweiler. Love me!

When it comes to characters - be it
in movies, TV, or any fictional story - I always put the most interest
to villains. These are entities that scream darkness and implant
fear to people. They have the intricate, obscure and unpredictable
plans. Their overly embellished personalities and vengeful traits are
fuel to my own perennial desires.

If you’ll look at it, I’d rather see Darth Vader succeed than to
witness the sole Jedi that saved the whole galaxy. I’m more thrilled to
see contrabidas perform their vile plans on the poor protagonist. In
reality TV shows like Survivor, contestants like Rob Mariano and Ami
Cusack please me because they provide more excitement with their
strategic responses to the way they play the game. The satisfaction I
get when I watch these kinds of people on TV takes out the boredom of
their stagnant stories, and sometimes gives you an escape to the daunting values in the
real world. As a matter of fact, in relation to my whims of staying
away from the hyped and the common, my choices in life have relied on
what’s more practical and least damaging to others than what’s more
acceptable and liked. You might as well say I’m a perennial villain
myself.

But lately, in order for me to seek approval of a certain person, I
have to project the image of selflessness and warmth. I may have to
shift my ideas from the independent to a more "super-hero" like
identity. I think I need to express this side of myself now; to be the one who would save this time. Strong as I am, I believe
someone should have my salvation. More than ever, I know that I need to
be the knight in shining armor to rescue the damsel I really like, and
who would like to be rescued by such.

I wonder if I could be the fallen angel…or Superman…just once…just to be desperately needed by someone.

So many things triggered my wonderment lately.

By Monday, I will have officially entered Operations. It’s finally time
for me to prove my demons wrong. This will be obviously challenging but
I know myself better now. I know what kind of responsibility is handed
to me and I’ll do my best not to abuse that. It’s always a nice feeling
to be respected and liked, in general. But now, as a leader, double is
the effort for honor to be earned. More than anything, it is the esteem
of my colleagues I am after.

I am also amazed to find out my own threshold has been expanding as I
mature. To know that I’m maturing by itself stupefies me. I’m more in
touch with my emotions now than when I was 3 years younger. Yeah, it’s
the Circle of Life and there’s nothing new - people go through it
inevitably, eventually. I guess I’ll have to attribute that to my Mom,
who is so much of a worrier. Everything has to be thought of well,
practical and most of all safe. Ironically, instead of clashing with my
‘no-regrets’ attitude, it tends to weave itself together with the latter just
fine. My roads in life became calculably difficult but bearable and
yielding, one way or the other.

Which leads me to the topic of dating. Ah, yes, a year’s worth of
qualms slowly shed away. These changes in my emotional and
psychological make-up is making me believe that I’ll end up with the
correct match soon. This is one chapter I intend to prolong as long as
I can.

Things will shape up. Events and reactions will change. I am now more
tolerant and responsive; the two dimensions in my life will be
characteristically distinct as far as control go. Optimistically,
instinct tells me to look up.

Hinde. Hindi ako si Erning ng infamous Strangebrew "phenomenon" of the Philippines.

Hindi rin ako tinamaan ng bala.

Lalo naman hindi ako nagmamarunong na almighty god ang dating sa pagiging tama lagi. Infallible baga.

Ang tama na sinasabi ko ay tama ng alak. Yes, for the first time
nalasing ako sa tama ng Red Horse. Omigod, I never thought na ganun sya
kalakas sumipa. Parang di kinaya ng liver ko. Tang-ina, hanggang ngayon
may sinasabi pren ang mga internal organs ko sa kin. Well, pano nga ba
ako umabot sa ganitong sitwasyon? It goes a little something like
this…

Napagpasiyahan ng Section Vangie (ito na lang ang tinawag namen sa Wave
namen kasi nung Product Training nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kami ng batch so
kung ano na lang yung maisip) na mag-get together once na makuha namin
ang first salary ng wave. So, mga 10 days ago palang nagpaplano na kami
kung saan pupunta. Within Makati ba? Umaga ba ‘to o gabi? Sinuggest ko
gabi para naman kahit paano yung pag-inom namin katulad ng ginagawa ng
mga normal na tao. In the end, diretso na after shift in the morning na
lang - kung sa bagay pag pinauwi mo pa yung mga tao wala nang aattend
sa gabi.

We ended up deciding to go to Macky’s place. May mini bar kasi siya sa
may Asturias, malapit sa UST. Kitam, nasa Makati at Gilmore na kami sa
UST pa rin kami napadpad! So after shift, nagcontemplate muna kami kung
san kakain. I don’t know but somehow, someway sa McDo kami napunta.
Hindi ko alam pero feeling ko taga ibang planeta ang McDo, feeding us
with subliminal information na automatic dun agad ang iisipin mo pag
gusto mong kumain. Around an hour or so, drive na to Macky’s place.
Wala pa yung kalahati ng grupo. At si Manuel (Macky) o Manu (Manung
Guard haha) hala nasa Pasay pa daw. Si Airo uuwi pa daw pero dahil
likas siyang alien, nag-stay. Nag-iisip na kami ng pwedeng puntahan na
when finally he arrived.

Mga adik tong kasama ko, hayok sa beer. 1 inch palang nakaopen yung
gate ng bar sugod na. Hahaha! The place was noticably not ready yet for
people. Special request namen kay Macky na i-open yung place in the
morning (pang call center talaga, winner!). Game, shot na! Wow Red
Horse pala titirahin namin. Nakakatuwa kasi natuloy kami at maraming
nakarating, tapos nyeee - si Harriet at si ‘Are you Dan (done)?’ uuwi
na daw. Di napilit kahit isang baso. Heller, un lng. Hehe. Tapos, si
Mamy Me-ann di nakaattend, gusto daw kasi nya gabi at shempre sa
morning sa family siya. Sayang kwentuhan galore sana kami. Basura.

Photo inset: si Airo on his nth phone call. Sabi nya isang baso lang
daw siya! Hayan, 11:30 na di pa rin umuuwe. Hahaha. Pero, the best si
Airo. Para sa inom, go! Si TL Oz kulay pasa na, ‘di raw siya malakas
uminom, kaya hayan. Si Mama Joy, 1.5Mbps ang pagdownload ng chicha. 400
decibels den ang lakas ng tawa. Adik. Si Joezer wala naman pinag-iba
kahit lasing. Haha, peace, chong!

Ako pakiramdam ko lasing na ako, medyo malalaki na movements ko eh. Di
ko na rin maalala na  pinagkukuha ‘tong mga picture na ‘to till now na
ininspect ko na cellphone ko.  Luckily, I didn’t text stupid stuff to
people, at tama pa naman ang mga spelling ko. ‘Di rin naman ako nag
mis-sent ng messages. Kahit lango, mahirap na. When I checked my Sent
Items muhkang safe naman. Maybe, because iba tama ng Red Horse sakin.
Muhkang laugh trip ‘eh. Ang tequila kse parang intelligence potion,
kinabukasan pagtingin mo sa Sent Folder aba ang sensible ng mga sinabi
ko! Hahaha. Lagyan ba ng logic ang alak?

Sige lang, tanghaling tapat mga basag ang tao. Lunch time na ng mga
Thomasians na may pasok ng Sabado. Halos di ko rin sila napansin cos we
practically owned the whole place. Si Macky damage control na kasi si
Joy naninira na ng gamit hahaha. Si Ron, ayan nakayuko na. Nagtry pa
kasi magyosi. Di pa rin daw siya nalalasing nang ganoon. What? Nag-work
ka nga sa Israel for two years eh! Hahaha! Tapos, ayun si Mark sinasampal
na ang sarili - he’s gonna drive pa kasi. I dunno why he was doing it
cos it really wasn’t obvious na basag na siya - the whole time "normal"
pa rin siyang silent type.

"Who are you and whose bed is this?!?"

Buti na lang ‘di yan ang naging line ko when I woke up. I honestly
didn’t know how I was able to get home. My last recollection was with
Ron. Gegewang-gewang kame sa Dapitan in broad daylight! It was
definitely the most drunk I’ve been in my entire life. But it was fun.
For me, it was also symbolic that I have already made a new world out
of these people I currently work with. I am a new person and it’s a new
beginning. Section Vangie - mga taong basura.

Letse, galangin pa kaya ako ng mga taong ‘to pag nasa production na kami? Hahaha.

Achieving socially acceptable norms
for beauty has always been a challenge for me and is slowly beginning
to become an obsession. For so many times already I’ve contemplated
enrolling in a gym. I still wouldn’t. I just don’t see any reasonable
explanation for paying that much money to do what can be achieved in
the badminton court (I’m not after making my body rip with muscles).
Weight loss and eating healthy suddenly became an utmost concern.
Whenever I get the time and resources to spend, I visit my
dermatologist and have my skin checked. Luckily enough, she is a great
doctor and things are improving, especially my face. My breakouts are
not that often now. But once in a while it does need little mechanical
tweaks here and there. So let me tell you a story on how I go by the
process of facial skin overhaul. Disclaimer: it’s not fun.

The whole deal starts with what they call scraping. Here a piece of
what I think is a blade is run through your face, aptly scraping it off
dead skin cells and unneeded facial hair. You’d take a look at what’s
taken out - parang 10 yrs kang di naghilamos. May miniscule clumps of
hair na muhkang agiw. Doon pa lang alam ko na my face is getting
cleaner already.

The assistant will then let you sniff on aromatic oils from the palms
of her hand. Feeling ko it’s part of their magical scheme - may lason
yung oils para isipin mo magaling sila. Wahehehe. She will then begin
massaging your face. I always tell them to take it easy on my nose. Ang
laki laki kse ng ilong ko, kala mo kung lapirutin nila marshmallow. It
easily gets irritated kase when moved a lot. Sorry na lng sila kung
ma-hatsingan ko sila…grr…

Maglalabas sya ng bagong weapon afterwards. It’s like a mechanical
super rotating sandpaper that runs slowly to scrub your face. Kumbaga,
nililiha ang muhka mo - I dunno para pumantay siguro pero sabi ni ate
pang scrub ng dead skin cells (uli). So kung makapal ang muhka mo,
pwede mong ipagawa to, mga speed setting 10x tpos 30 mins! Shempre,
like most facials, steam is needed. So pinausukang face ka na.
Nakakairita lang minsan kse tutulo sipon mo sa dami nang nasinghot mong
steam. Pero go lang, kelangan eh. Hehe.

Eto na. Ready na sa painful part! She’s now gonna be pricking my lovely
face. Hay! Parang eksena sa Hostel Movie ang dating namen. Mini-torture
pare. Hinde ako makapalag kapag medyo masakit yung ginagawa nila cos
it’ll just cause my skin to scar. Hay naku, especially sa ilong,
mapapaluha ka! But I’ve been doing this for a long time now and it’s
been proven to really rid my face of anything deep-seethed. Poise lang
dapat sa movements para di ka muhkang nasasaktan, di katulad nung
katabi ko, parang kinukurot sa singit sa likot haha!

Whew, hard part’s over! Laser na. I still don’t know what’s its purpose
pero naooverwhelm ako so siguro yun nga, epek lng. Kunware 21st century
gadget chuva for the face. Scary lang kse prang baka bigla siyang
lumakas maprito ako. Tapos, cooling mask naman! sarap ng feeling when
the fan is placed against your face and dries out the mask. Lamiiig!
After removing the mask you’re done!

When you look at yourself in the mirror for the first time, parang kang
sinampal ni Cherie Gil ng 20 times kase ang pula-pula ng muhka mo. But
the difference is noticably there. Ang linis linis nyang tignan. Just
like a bagong ligong kalabaw. I’m definitely satisfied cos I get the
same results everytime. These people are trained well man! Yey, pogi na
naman ako! Wag ka na lang kumontra, mahal to eh!

Working is such a nice security
blanket. You can always look forward and count the days. Play the role
of a superhero or lowlife for all they care - it’s a job. We revel on
the small joys of office-life with the things we bring along. The boxes
in the calendar months are slowly getting crossed out in anticipation
of the rewards for the daunting tasks we sometimes reluctantly do. But
what do you do if it doesn’t come, and to know it isn’t entirely your
fault?

This exactly has what happened to me in my second (yes, second!)
paycheck. I was already pissed off to begin with cos I had to endure the wind and the
storm, plus the hell I’d go through before I can actually enter the
office building (more on that later). Some excitement filled me in as I
was very eager to try the backdoor-to-meebo tip given by Drew. That was
the first thing I did when I logged on to my PC, and my god it worked!
I then opened up my mailbox and there was this message from my
colleague embedded in a long thread which simply says that me and my
co-TL trainee Oz will not be getting our salaries for the previous
cut-off because the Workforce people failed to upload our time records
before it was too late (or they plainly screwed the whole thing up)! I
may be just a small small person in this huge ass company but that I
believe is enough reason for their HR and staff to work doubly hard and
not fukk up. Anyway, I’m not the kind of person who raises hell right
away so I give them that. Despite the mistaken notion that I’m a
ruthless and inconsiderate jerk, I am very levelled to sides. My
reaction would’ve been different if I hadn’t received my backpay,
though.

From lack, we go to excess. OMG! Never in my entire life I have
subjected myself into a full body search and kapkapan session until
here. Man, I have to give it to our guards for thoroughly keeping our
sites protected against violence and most importantly for raising my
ire each and every day. One will have to spend (and waste) 15-20 mins
of their precious pre-shift time to simply succumb themselves to
contrivedly overdone routine entrance inspection. If you bring a bag
with you, you have to leave it with them (a la baggage counter in the
supermarkets). CDs, DVDs that you have brought along, no way, those
have to be surrendered as well. USB flash drives, ipods, laptops and CD
players? No sir, you can’t take them in. But what I don’t understand is
why won’t they let me take my cellphone inside at least. Damn, they
need to understand first the difference between a phone to an actual
PDA with phone functions! The Pa1m0ne Treo 650 is NOT a PDA. It is a
friggin’ Smartphone with PDA capabilities, pretty much like the Sony
Ericsson P800/P900/P910 and the whole Nokia Symbian model line-up (which,
mind you, they let in). At least know your freakin’ technology first
before confiscating the damn phone. This applies with full PDAs as well
- there’s nothing really harmful to proprietary property unless you
steal wireless signals from production. Yeah, to be safe than sorry is
a good principle to follow but don’t you think overdoing it is making
processes more precarious? We can always have IT disable USB ports in
the terminals and remove CD drives. And, what harm can an ipod pose to
the company’s computers? I’ve never heard an issue wherein a gadget
like that caused major alterations to PC hardware internals without
having to be physically connected. Someone needs to review and revise
that policy. For now, we just have to go with the tedious flow.

Most employees follow rules in the office not because it is required
for job preservation but because they know the rationale behind it.
People work hard to adhere to their commitments and responsibilities.
The least we could do is give their compensation promptly and on time.
Would it also hurt if they were given the chance to enjoy listening to
music with their mp3 players and composing short messages from their
cellphones during their breaks? Just thinking out loud again.

At long
last, I finally got my backpay. Thirty something days of waiting is
done. I was so excited. I woke up as early as I could to catch the 8AM
opening of the payroll department. More good news, Mac said that I can
immediately encash my check in Citibank Paseo.

I was in Makati around 830. I actually saw Allan across the street
smoking but I didn’t bother going underground to chat. It was a long
day and I had to start it. There, so I lifted myself up the 8th floor
and waited together with the other "former employees" a bit for the
payroll representative to present us with our big bucks. I tried to act
neutral about the whole situation. Yung kasama ko naman kasi muhkang
excited ata, di na nagbasa. Pirma na lang agad. Baka di nya alam ang pinipirmahan niya: di na pwedeng magdemanda sa kanila in anyshape or form! Adik adik. Wala sa sarili. Well, I
completely get her. It’s money after all. Whew, I was so satisfied with
what I got! Just enough for what I really need.

I didn’t waste any time and rushed to the bank to encash my check. Long
queues usually irritate me but in this particular case, I was more of
adamant. Plus points for letting the cute teller handle my transaction.
Nice nice! After this, I completely ignored the rain and went to Park
Square to get the iSkin for my ipod. Nag-iinarte na naman kase yung
headset ko so I had to make some precautionary measures to save it. And
how can I forget to buy kappakopi! I’ve been dying to have real coffee
for weeks. So that was orgasmic at best. I took a cab after my quick
trip to the mall and proceeded to my dermatologist’s clinic to fill up
my supply of pogi potions. One month na yata akong ‘di nakakagamit ng
mga gamot niya so I felt so pangit that time. Kinamusta naman niya ako
at natuwa naman siya cos my lesions have already disappeared. Good job!

Ang dami pang pending. It’s like the Amazing Race. I hailed the next FX
to the LRT. At sobrang nabwiset ako sa katabi ko. Letse sobrang
sangsang! I think he was wearing these Afficionado imitation colognes
that you can buy from the malls. I can very well tell it was cheap. Ang
sakit sa ulo. Pakshet. Anyway, I was able to get outta there and got a
few other things before I got home. When I got there I immediately
dispersed my money toward my obligations to my Mom and Kuya. So, kakakuha ko palang ng
pera limas na!

I may have ended up losing half of my money to pay my dues but then
again it’s a very light feeling afterwards. It was hard to move without
money, I can’t be hypocritical. But getting money out of your system
(yes, be it in utang form) can give you a lot of peace of mind. So I
was relieved…for a moment.

Eto na naman.

Parati na lang ganito araw-araw. Maiirita ako sa “kring-kring” ng alarm
sa cellphone ko. 5:30 na naman. Iba talaga yung feeling kapag
nagigising ka at dinadampian ka ng pagsasama ng init ng sikat ng araw
at lamig ng hamog. Nakakatamad bumangon, pero kailangan. Ayoko yatang
ma-late sa office. Sa bagay, wala kang karapatan, dahil inaasahan kang
maging mabuting halimbawa ng mga tao mo. Sige, tayo lang; ang simpleng
pagbukas lang ng ilaw inaabot pa ng 10 minutes. Sayang ang antok, pwede
ka pang matulog nang sandali habang inaatay mong kumulo yung tubig.
Ayan, mainit na. Pwede na akong mag-kape. Hindi ko alam, pero ang sarap
talaga ng kape. No wonder, mga mayayaman lang nakakainom nito noong
unang panahon.

Letse! 6:30 na kalalabas ko pa lang ng banyo. Pero ayos lang, di ko
naman kailangan mag-tuck-in ng polo kasi hindi naman ganun kahigpit ang
opisina sa dress code e. 15 minutes kaya lahat to: toothbrush, ahit,
bihis. Sige go! Hindi naman ako matrtrapik kahit 7:00 na ako umalis
dahil may kolorum naman ng FX dito sa tapat. Deretso na papuntang
Ayala. Thank You Lord dahil hate ko talagang makipagsiksikan sa LRT at
tumayo sa gumegewang na bus.

7:24. Ang aga pa. Yosi muna. Hmmm…ganito pala maging ‘normal’ na tao.
Nakapang-opisina lahat. May mga dalang baunan. Naka-shades yung iba.
Yung iba nagtataho muna. Marami ring lovers na magkahiwalay ng
pinagtatrabahuhan so kiss na sila. Malaki pala talaga kaibahan ng mga
may shift kapag gabi. Kung sa bagay, mas marami talaga sila sa umaga.
All of a sudden naging allergic ako sa sobrang daming tao. Mas makapal
pa ang pollution. Pero sige, muhkang ok naman.

Start na ng klase. Makikita ko na naman yung trainer ko na kamuhka ni
Asia Agcaoili (kapag malayo). Hindi siya nakakaantok magturo. Naalala
ko si Claud sa kanya, ang bubbly niya kasi (Claudine, miss na kita!
Wah!). Medyo mayabang ako sa mga session kasi napagdaanan ko na rin ang
ganitong training 2 years ago. So pagdating sa mga American Accent and
Culture, sisiw na yan. Shempre, ayaw ko namang magtaas lagi ng kamay.
Gusto ko rin namang matuto yung mga baguhan. Minsan sa mga group work,
kahit ako yung tinuturo nila, sila pinagpe-present ko, para naman
mahasa mga dila nila.

Matagal pa sweldo kaya nagtitiis ako sa canteen nung building. Sorry
pero parang karinderia talaga. Imagine, sa ibaba may talyer! Hala. Mga
vintage na kotse na ni-rerevive ang view mo. E ano pa bang magagawa ko,
pakisama ko na rin yun sa mga ka-klase ko. Ang arte ko naman kung mag
solo flight ako at tumambay sa Starbucks. Sa bagay di rin pwede kasi
malayo.

Ayoko ng afternoon session namin. Customer Service Skills pero ang
instructor dating madre! Halleeeer!Ok na sana pero ‘di niya talaga
mapigil minsan na isingit ang Philosophy at Theology sa mga tinuturo
niya. Isang beses nag-pray pa before mag-start ng class!! Winner!
Natotolerate ko naman yung mga ganung bagay pero sayang yung oras.Sana
kung mag-recap siya ng lesson di isang oras, payag pa ako kahit
magsindi kami ng kandila at mag join hands in prayer.

Hindi rin ako naeexcite umuwi. Ang dami mong kasabay na nag-uuwian din.
Asar. Ang hirap maghanap ng sasakyan. Ayoko rin ng may kasabay na
kakilala minsan e. ‘Me’ time ko kasi ang biyahe.Doon lang ako
nakakapakinig ng music from my i-pod in peace. So pag nasira yun,
naiirita ako.

Bukas ganito na naman. Pero malapit na ring matapos. Ito lang naman
maganda sa ganitong trabaho: hindi fixed ang sked. Magbabago one way or
another. Gusto ko nang mag Product Training. Hindi din naman ako ganoon
ka thrilled na mapunta sa floor. Di bale, one day at a time.

Ang hirap maging pang-umaga. Hindi ako sanay. Nakakagawian na rin.
Masarap din kasing matulog nang madilim – marami kang naiisip na
tanong. Ano kaya mangyayari bukas? Ma-trapik kaya ako? Lahat naman yun
nasasagot ko. Isang bagay lang talaga hindi ko masagot kahit anong
mangyari…

Bakit kaya ako kinikilig pag umiihi?