Archive for April, 2006

Indifferent

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

I am getting worse by the day. I forget why did this occur to me anyway. All I know is that I have never been so tormented and forlorn in so many years. This multi-aspect and heavily-layered situation is getting so stagnant, but I still refuse to accept it as part of my reality. I tried to escape. Sleeping didn’t do the trick. Shopping and cooking seem to do very little to diffuse my explosion. Queerly enough, alcohol doesn’t seem to work either. Talking may only be the resort. Easier said than done. I’m indifferent to people now.

Nobody gives a rat’s @ss on this sh!t. I can enumerate things that scare, bother and hurt me all day long and it will go unnoticed. Nobody cares. I spend hours listening and replying to other worthless crap from other people when I expect them to listen. I can’t even freakin’ put an interjection. I can blog the fukk out of them all day and complain. They wouldn’t even go here anyway. Why bother?

Listen up, I’m done listening to your crap and painstakingly try to be your friend. I still am. But I’m over with all your issues and I can’t attend to them right now. Obviously,  have a LOT of my own. You say I’m losing it. I say that’s an understatement.

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Stuff That Make You Go #@$#!$@%!!!

Tuesday, April 18th, 2006

Earlier
today I stayed at the office for an extra 3 hours despite that I have
been up for more than 24 hours. I had to be at the mall as soon as it
opens for I simply had to get that oh-so-nice new pair of Havaianas Cup
España. I’ve been drooling over these since I saw them in Shangri-la
and they will perfectly match my World Cup 2006 Spain support shirt.
Yeah, so, Greenbelt 3 was still closed so I stayed in CBTL and again
wasted money on a cup of coffee (2nd for the day). I can’t wait much
longer so I went to Glorietta, checked out All Flip Flops and see if I
could spot the damned pair. Fudge, store’s still opening and there is
an apparent queue of people who are waiting for the it to friggin’
open. I was pissed that a lot of people are already wearing them and
the effin’ brand is already being imitated. So I walked around with my
extra-sweet ice blended coffee only to find out the style I want is out
of stock. @#$@%!! I zoomed right back to GB3 and yes, not even Celio
doesn’t have the pair that I want. I even went as far as having them
call all the branches within the metropolis but to no avail. %$@%#$%!!!

As if it wasn’t enough to piss me off, this summer weather is
getting in my nerves pretty good. I drenched in sweat as I walked my
way home. I loathe queues and to be standing in line to get a stupid
MRT ticket while soaking in perspiration is too much! Not to mention
that I have to endure the swarms of people who cramp themselves inside
the train. You could only imagine the intensity of odor you have to
torture your olfactory nerves with. It’s a complete nightmare, and I
have to effin’ take it cos I needed to rush home. Damn, $#%@%^!!

These
little annoyances that stack up aren’t enough; I still go about my
everyday struggle to coexist with my equally irritating colleagues and
superiors. For the longest time I have b!tched and moaned and
complained on how dissatisfied and fed up I am with the way things are
going in the workplace. It has reached its dead end and continues to
push me against the wall. I’ve had enough of this set-up and the
constant move-across-the-board-like-we-are-chess-pieces play. Over and
over again, it’s always expected to turn on its head. And now, I’m
being lashed at for lacking initiative to handle my team?! WHAT THE
FUKK! I may be a little timid and complacent at times but I know what
to do when someone’s not around and I do it so well it could even beat
your @ss up. I’m done with this hellhole. These are not challenges
anymore, but immovable barriers. My position here is not stable, but
#$@#%^$% stagnant.

My inner self is not at all peaceful with
all of these. You see, aside from all of the above, I still have to
deal with this person. Now I don’t know if I’m just doing this to
myself, but I’m definitely going after the wrong person again. My
painful experiences in rejection and false hopes were not the best
teacher as I still haven’t learned my lesson. I continue to succumb
myself to the trappings of pre-conditions, pre-arrangements,
cliffhanger promises and pseudo-relationships. To add more freaking
insult to injury, there is no one in this world that understands where
I am right now. I tried to reach two of my friends and basically just
spill out my ambivalence and agitated mental and emotional conflict.
And what do I get? No responses. I simply hate them right now, cos
they’re the only ones I can get strength from and yet they’re too busy
to attend to their friend who suffered for the longest time. This is
what I feel at this moment. Sorry. I’m mad cos I’m $%@%^$%%@ hurt.
Companionship, my @ss.

I am not happy, think I haven’t been
for very long now. I’m not going to be apologetic about everything
right now cos I know I deserve something from all entities I expect to
help me out.
Apparently, I saw none so screw it!

Screw it.

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Frapping Up New Electronic Pop: Supernature

Monday, April 17th, 2006

I was
first introduced to Electronica back in 1998 through the Ray of Light
album. Since then, I’ve always looked for similar artists with the same
kind of genre. My research lead me to a number of electronic-pop-rock
collaborations of known artists. I will admit that up to now I’m still
not in the hook of the genre, but it has become part of my playlists
for the longest time. One latest addition to this collection is British
duo Goldfrapp.

Alison Goldfrapp and Will
Gregory have been in the electronic-pop scene more than 5 years ago and
has been praised and known with their 2 previous albums. Their latest
offering, Supernature, is the first Goldfrapp album I heard. and
certainly, I was never disappointed after listening to this record.

Supernature1_1The first track Ooh La La -
which also happens to be the first single for this album - is
sufficiently great to be the introduction to the rest of the album. Its
raw, commanding and bold power, together with Alison’s Debbie
Harry-esque vocals makes it perfect for a frontrunner. A taste of good
things to come from this lovely electric-pop-heavy-glam-synth package.
Following this piece is also the strong Lovely 2 C U which tells about
wanting action from a lost lover, or simply acknowledging someone who
had a smashing entrance to a club. Ride A White Horse shares the
similar club feel, but more on the raunchy, nostalgic side.

Fly_me_away_goldfrapp
Supernature also provides you a
way to ease your thoughts and give way to release. Fly Me Away, simply
said, is the escape song. Time Out of the World, as the title merely
suggests, lets you journey into the unconscious and leaves you in a
state of trance. The album incorporates an immense synth influence as
evident from U Never Know and Koko. Both blend in heavy synth
arrangements, beats and melodies accentuated by Alison’s seductive and
varying vocal accompaniment. And since it is still a pop record after
all, notable tracks like Number 1 come to mind. Melodic but danceable
enough, it’s pop. Similarly, Slide In showcases the rightful marriage
of Miss Goldfrapp’s sensual and innocent vocals with Mr. Gregory’s
electronic craft.

Deviating from the upbeat
nature of the album is the powerful ballad Let It Take You. This track
is very much like Massive Attack. The mighty piano lead gives it the
effortless and light mood as it really hypnotizes one to be let taken away. It is such a fine breakaway. Indeed, it is one of the
centerpieces of Supernature.

But my favorite would have to
be Satin Chic. This particular song completely summarizes the album in
itself. Alison’s vocal work in this track is excellent, capturing the
likes of Blondie’s Debbie and a little bit of Texas’ Sharleen Spiteri.
It also employs the use of modern electronic arrangements and classic
honky-tonk piano tunes. The result reminded me of the background music
from an old Megaman video game level. This cut clearly encompasses the
pulp of the CD.

Lyrically, Goldfrapp’s work on
this album is plain, but metaphoric. I guess that’s a way of partially
concealing its sexual references and also a way to let us listen and
focus more on the electronic melodies and unique synthesizer
arrangements. Reviewers commented on the album as one of Goldfrapp’s
weakest. If it is, then I better get hold of those earlier records cos
I absolutely dig this stuff!

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Last Hoorah! for the Patriarch

Thursday, April 13th, 2006

I just buried my grandfather over the weekend. It was too abrupt, but anticipated somehow. He was the last of the grandparents that I have; and in particular, he may be the more characteristically indirect role models that I have. A practical professional, a learned disciplinarian and most of all, a distinguished patriarch all throughout.

Being the established dentist that he was, he inspired his family to prioritize education primarily. He knew that he came from a well-off clan but that didn’t stop him from earning a degree and a stable source of living. He was a very well-organized practitioner and knows the value of hard-earned wealth. His children are testament to that. Least to say, Daddy Lolo was a gifted and clever individual.

As a parent, there is no doubt that he was the strict one. Well, for one, as a father raising nine children he knew very well how to balance and direct each of his children’s lives to the best they can possibly move. In the eyes of his grandchildren however, he exhibited a certain type of aura that was very reserved and almost non-verbal. Even so, he made sure that he did what he can to attend to all of his twenty-one grandchildren and a handful of great grandchildren. His method of letting us know where to go was not commanding but it was effective.

Lolo may have been the timid kind of grandfather but he sure did have his ways of showing us he cared. My memories of him are at most few but those are signature. I recall he was a great violinist in his time and at one time he did say he did play (It was then validated that we are a family of musicians). I remember his stories of how he grew up in our neighborhood in Tondo riding horses along the used-to-be clear grounds of the estero. And of course, his yearly Christmas queue of kids he handed money to.

He clearly was a patriarch to his kin and an efficient catalyst that held these branches together. Reunions will sure be slightly different now that he passed. One thing’s for sure, I – and I’m sure most of my relatives would agree – consider him as a brilliant role model when it comes to keeping your ideologies and practical thinking closely working together. That’s definitely how I live my life now.

Here’s to you, Daddy Lolo!

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